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She sounds like a real mom. I replied to each of her questions. ‘We wear the same size. Yes they are. No there’s no alcohol. Not that I know of, I’ll come back if there is. And I don’t care.’ Okay, so three lies, small lies. No harm no foul. She confirmed that I could stay and I hung up and slipped the phone back into my pocket. I turned back to Jessie who had an excited look on her face. ‘Please tell me I’m just staying for the night and we’re not actually going out in the woods to look for these ‘pedophiles’.’ She pouted at me. ‘We have about two hours to dark, and you still need some fresh air, you look sick.’ She stepped forward and touched the back of her hand to my cheek and forehead. ‘You’re hot.’ I smirked at her, feeling exactly what she was saying I was, sick and hot. ‘Well thanks. I try to take care of myself.’ She slapped my arm. ‘Quit doing that.’ I pouted at her. ‘No hitting the hot guy.’ She rolled her eyes at me and headed for the door. I followed her, because I know. "Dear Casi, you must learn to distinguish between good Brie and bad Brie." With her mouth full, munching noisily, "On the continent, we would laugh at the quality of cheese you Americans accept. Because it is marked 'imported, ' you believe that it is the finest. On the contrary, the dairies of Europe use America as a dumping ground for their inferior and unacceptable cheeses, the swill any self-respecting Belgian or Frenchman would feed to the pigs." She swallowed, then emitted a small, ladylike belch. "With few exceptions, what is marketed as high quality Brie here is bitter and spotted with brown mold. I needed to look far and wide to find even this middling quality cheese."It tasted fine to me, delicate and creamy in fact. I couldn't imagine it being any better, and told her so. Her response: "If I were Judith and you Holofernes, I would cut off your head for impertinence!" A rather drastic remedy, I thought.Rather than cutting off my head, she filled it with a cultural education.
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